It's just not right, what's happening to me:
- A spouse who is very upset with me and not seeking to forgive and reconcile;
- children who are starting to show signs of being affected by this;
- in-laws who are not speaking openly to me about it;
- local ministers who are too busy with the bulk of their ministries to help;
- being the pastor, myself, of another very s-l-o-w-l-y growing ministry which seems to bury more than it baptises...;
- My second new year's eve alone;
- and assorted discouraging advice about 'moving on'
...then this text comes on my phone:
"Record the vision And inscribe it on tablets, That the one who reads it may run."
that's it. No explanation. very 'New Year' sort of a verse, right?
but I know the next verse almost by heart:
"For the vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay."
If you had a picture of the Fraser's on your fridge to remind you to pray for us, you had this scripture quoted out of Habakkuk 2:3
and when I looked it up, the verse that follows helped me too:
"Behold, as for the proud one, His soul is not right within him;
But the righteous will live by his faith."
How proud I am. How proven baseless and arrogant, that pride.
How NOT right are things right now,
while I cry 'victim' because of the spouse who cries 'victim'?
I was trying to believe more about myself because I am in Christ.
But I need to believe more about Christ, because I am myself.
And I need to believe more about Christ, because He lives in Liz.
And God reached me in the depths of depression and despair,
with the words He gave over four years ago.
And I will not give up today.
And it's not a junk day.
God don't make junk!
As my friend has said:
These are days of grace. Grace that brings the nature of God into this day.
Please keep praying for us.
Seeking to be the change I would see in others,
David
3 comments:
I went to BibleGateway to find an encouraging passage, using restore or restored in the keyword lookup. Saw one, and then another, and then another all in Job. Was going to move on, but something told me I didn't need to. Read Job. Not cheerful, no, but ultimately, yes, encouraging.
Praying for the Frasers.
Hallie.
Hi David. I've read your blog a few times now. It's obvious you are in the middle of a whirl of emotions and difficult circumstances. I don't know what your way forward will be, but I know that God has a way for you.
May I humbly suggest something? In honesty, I really don't think you should write about your lovely wife on here the way you do in such a public forum. It paints her publicly in such a negative light and though you may feel that is true in your present experience, it can't aid any possibility of healing. Writing about yourself is one thing, but writing about her and her family is something to be careful about and ensure it is fully appropriate. I hope you can receive that in the spirit it is offered in. Kindest regards to you.
Thank you for your advice Carol. I didn't mean to disparage Elizabeth. I wasn't aware it was inappropriate. I will reconsider the language. I was specifically listing what I do face right now, to people who agreed to pray for us based on updates from this blog. It wasn't intended as public space, but prayer partner communication. Thank you for sharing your advice and risking reproach, I could use more friends like you.
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