Tuesday, 15 December 2009
Sunday, 13 December 2009
Still Standing
I am weary and hopeful.
Liz is encouraged and feeling stronger.
and we still have trouble.
Please pray specifically for our family.
I started with how Liz's decissions afflicted me.
Then I decided "poor Liz she is afflicted and she is affecting me"
Now I realize "poor Liz, I totally afflict her".
Its never one-sided, but God is showing me how important it is to be obedient to Him despite what we think or feel about others we share life with.
God has called me to love my wife to the point of laying down my life for her.
I am facing the reality that I failed to love Liz like Christ loves the church and she is right to point it out.
I brought you all in on this episode of our lives.
It's a bit embarassing and I would rather keep it all quiet.
But I feel we signed up for a life on display as missionaries
and cant reconcile just sending out postcards of happy children and church-folk at BBQs.
And for this entire post I have struggled
with wanting to plead my innocence and justify my sin.
And point out the messy web of genuine offenses and sinful responses.
Satan's got the whole room in a big cream pie throwin fight!
This messy bit of life is God working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
Liz is encouraged and feeling stronger.
and we still have trouble.
Please pray specifically for our family.
I started with how Liz's decissions afflicted me.
Then I decided "poor Liz she is afflicted and she is affecting me"
Now I realize "poor Liz, I totally afflict her".
Its never one-sided, but God is showing me how important it is to be obedient to Him despite what we think or feel about others we share life with.
God has called me to love my wife to the point of laying down my life for her.
I am facing the reality that I failed to love Liz like Christ loves the church and she is right to point it out.
I brought you all in on this episode of our lives.
It's a bit embarassing and I would rather keep it all quiet.
But I feel we signed up for a life on display as missionaries
and cant reconcile just sending out postcards of happy children and church-folk at BBQs.
And for this entire post I have struggled
with wanting to plead my innocence and justify my sin.
And point out the messy web of genuine offenses and sinful responses.
Satan's got the whole room in a big cream pie throwin fight!
This messy bit of life is God working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
We hope to see evidence of that soon...
Please pray,
David
Please pray,
David
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
Feeling the Love
You guys are great!
I applaud your support and prayers.
Especially those who are lovingly reaching out to Elizabeth.
Liz and I are encouraged.
God is using you.
Nobody mentioned it, but I feel convicted that I complained about a choice that Liz made without owning up to choices I make that are equally wrong. Liz is hurting just like her husband. and we are blessed with friends like you. Pray with hope and thanksgiving for what God is doing over here in our hearts.
Thank you.
I applaud your support and prayers.
Especially those who are lovingly reaching out to Elizabeth.
Liz and I are encouraged.
God is using you.
Nobody mentioned it, but I feel convicted that I complained about a choice that Liz made without owning up to choices I make that are equally wrong. Liz is hurting just like her husband. and we are blessed with friends like you. Pray with hope and thanksgiving for what God is doing over here in our hearts.
Thank you.
Friday, 27 November 2009
Crisis
2 1/2 years since we went out from Metro to serve in Scotland.
There has been extreme grief as friendships ceased with our departure.
It's a busy life. We are all busy.
It's a challenge to keep on top of even that which is right in front of us isn't it?
The support that we truly depend on hasn't been financial or relational.
Jehovah-Jireh -- The Lord our Provider
But it is hard to keep sight of this in relative isolation from the people we grew up with. Liz and I have had a VERY hard time adjusting to missionary shock (David), re-entry shock (Elizabeth), post natal depression, the stress of reorienting to a denominational church culture where we believe God has placed us, raising sons, home maintenance, general christian growth...
This next bit may come as a shock.
Elizabeth has decided to separate from me.
we are working with the counselor we have been seeing for months now.
I do not agree with Elizabeth's decisions.
I cannot control this; or fix it.
I have decided to move into a flat so the rest of the family will experience as little additional disruption as possible.
It sucks.
God causes ALL things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
I believe this and I am not feelin it.
I am struggling with grief and pain and shame and frustration and anger and fear and renewed hope as they wash over me in oscillating waves.
I have shared this with the fellowship here in Alva,
with my prayer partners;
and with a couple of strangers I just met who are planting a church nearby.
And now you are more specifically aware of how you can pray.
I considered whether I am qualified to continue in ministry.
(an overseer) must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? (1Ti 3:4-5 ESV)
I am not sure that I have failed to manage my own household well.
I am convinced that I am not able to 'manage' Liz.
I offered to step back from commitments, to quit ministry entirely;
but Liz is making this decision for her reasons.
Her family supports this
I feel quite alone in my insistance that this is wrong.
But God is holding us up we both want to perservere and see victory.
This has deeply affected our family in Alva.
Please be praying,
David
This last Sunday's Sermon was on suffering in crisis.
There has been extreme grief as friendships ceased with our departure.
It's a busy life. We are all busy.
It's a challenge to keep on top of even that which is right in front of us isn't it?
The support that we truly depend on hasn't been financial or relational.
Jehovah-Jireh -- The Lord our Provider
But it is hard to keep sight of this in relative isolation from the people we grew up with. Liz and I have had a VERY hard time adjusting to missionary shock (David), re-entry shock (Elizabeth), post natal depression, the stress of reorienting to a denominational church culture where we believe God has placed us, raising sons, home maintenance, general christian growth...
This next bit may come as a shock.
Elizabeth has decided to separate from me.
we are working with the counselor we have been seeing for months now.
I do not agree with Elizabeth's decisions.
I cannot control this; or fix it.
I have decided to move into a flat so the rest of the family will experience as little additional disruption as possible.
It sucks.
God causes ALL things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
I believe this and I am not feelin it.
I am struggling with grief and pain and shame and frustration and anger and fear and renewed hope as they wash over me in oscillating waves.
I have shared this with the fellowship here in Alva,
with my prayer partners;
and with a couple of strangers I just met who are planting a church nearby.
And now you are more specifically aware of how you can pray.
I considered whether I am qualified to continue in ministry.
(an overseer) must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? (1Ti 3:4-5 ESV)
I am not sure that I have failed to manage my own household well.
I am convinced that I am not able to 'manage' Liz.
I offered to step back from commitments, to quit ministry entirely;
but Liz is making this decision for her reasons.
Her family supports this
I feel quite alone in my insistance that this is wrong.
But God is holding us up we both want to perservere and see victory.
This has deeply affected our family in Alva.
Please be praying,
David
This last Sunday's Sermon was on suffering in crisis.
Saturday, 7 November 2009
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
The place, the Man, the sign.
We had a guest speaker Preach on John 5:1-18
Norman Rollo is a neighbour and friend here in Clackmannanshire
Norman Rollo is a neighbour and friend here in Clackmannanshire
Saturday, 3 October 2009
Autumn
The world is pitching and heaving!
There is so much going on with kingdom significance.
I could start with the Family Club that served kids and their parents last night. We had a sports medicine educator come and speak to kids about strength and fitness, specifically, warming up before exercise. Then we played some games pertaining to the life of Daniel and showed a bit of an animated feature on the life of Daniel.
We also have seen the Kids' Church grow with unlikely additions from the neighbourhood kids. Partly as a result of the outreach but also, I think, resulting from the sincere love that God has placed in our hearts for this community. We know its all God, and Jesus saves. And yet, we know He insists on His church 'carrying the arc into battle'. Andrew introduced Peter, didn't he?
Our coffee morning gathers 10 or 20 people together on a Wednesday. At this gathering, we are positioned to get to know and pray for our neighbours. We feed free tea/coffee and cakes and allow for a donation toward costs, but really we love on these mostly retired folks and moms with small children.
On October 25th we start our 'One Day Through the Bible' Study.
4 Sundays, from 3-5pm, through the main plot of the whole Bible.
Please keep praying for our family and the work!
The world is watching the news, our neighbours look to the front office to see if their jobs are in danger, our children are reading our faces to discern the meaning of things and the Lord is refining His church for the harvest!
Do you see that the time is here when the judgement is begining with the house of God?
I suppose it is possible that this is merely a projection of my own autobiography onto this blank screen of a blog, but outch! Lord!? May I please just agree with You and be seared with a coal from your alter, already!!?
I am convicted that the work in my heart is for public consumption. Your responses over the last few months have expressed encouragement and support and even relief that others are going through refining fire; relief that you are not the only one.
Still, when we ask 'How are you today' we don't really want our neighbours to unpack their emotional baggage. But I am being seriously smelted here!
I am really coming to grips with the rebellious nature I have held-onto in my Christian walk. As if Christianity was a rebellion from the world system. Then I, as a rebel from the world, affiliated with others; IN REBELLION. I am convicted that I was, until recently, on any team because we both were against the Devil! I reflect on my past Christian service with grief! I am seriously convicted that it was mostly in vain, except that my deepest desire was to serve God. I am called to serve God, to line-up under His authority. And affiliating with people submitted to Him is proving to be challenging. Christians everywhere, but so many rebels; so many angry lone rangers; so few men of God. Are any of us?
This last year of my life has been increasingly characterized by conviction and repentance. This is so NOT fun. I am a poor man. I am undone. Dont feel sorry for me, I was like this when you knew me. In me dwelleth NO good thing.
Everything is on the block. My neck, my marriage, my children, my ministry; the pronoun tells the story: none of these are mine! God took me to the backside of the desert to slap me to the wheel. (to mix two biblical metaphores)
I told God I was ready for an adventure.
He agreed.
But oh, what important realities are not in the recruitment brochures for Christian service!
Many admired the courage of our setting out.
You all knew I had character flaws when I left.
But I am here to say that the depth of God's work has gone beyond what I ever wanted to admit or face. This could easily kill me if I hold on to anything of myself as God blasts it away.
Its not like I was in secret sin or something; I am just convicted (with a diminishing sense of grace) about the absence of a heart for the fullness of God's spirit to bring forth love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control. God has raised the bar and every time I dont clear it I am getting thumped! And I am better for it, but things look pretty bruised right now. Please pray for us!
God wants us to lift HOLY hands.
Are you holy? Did you think you could leave that part out?
I stand before the solar wind of God's refining fire and more of me is burning off than I bargained for. Is anybody else really, really, REALLY going through this?
Please pray for us.
There is fruit and the Gospel is preached.
Honestly, Satan is like 'just quit, you're a mess' and I almost could.
Except there is nothing else I will ever do besides preach the gospel.
My family and I need your prayers to see God transform this man into the holy man He can use to reach: his family, people in Alva, and perhaps even Clackmannanshire, Scotland, Europe and the world. But I am in the way and we need your prayers as God is already well into the surgery.
- Elective Soul Surgery
Please pray for us.
There is so much going on with kingdom significance.
I could start with the Family Club that served kids and their parents last night. We had a sports medicine educator come and speak to kids about strength and fitness, specifically, warming up before exercise. Then we played some games pertaining to the life of Daniel and showed a bit of an animated feature on the life of Daniel.
We also have seen the Kids' Church grow with unlikely additions from the neighbourhood kids. Partly as a result of the outreach but also, I think, resulting from the sincere love that God has placed in our hearts for this community. We know its all God, and Jesus saves. And yet, we know He insists on His church 'carrying the arc into battle'. Andrew introduced Peter, didn't he?
Our coffee morning gathers 10 or 20 people together on a Wednesday. At this gathering, we are positioned to get to know and pray for our neighbours. We feed free tea/coffee and cakes and allow for a donation toward costs, but really we love on these mostly retired folks and moms with small children.
On October 25th we start our 'One Day Through the Bible' Study.
4 Sundays, from 3-5pm, through the main plot of the whole Bible.
Please keep praying for our family and the work!
The world is watching the news, our neighbours look to the front office to see if their jobs are in danger, our children are reading our faces to discern the meaning of things and the Lord is refining His church for the harvest!
Do you see that the time is here when the judgement is begining with the house of God?
I suppose it is possible that this is merely a projection of my own autobiography onto this blank screen of a blog, but outch! Lord!? May I please just agree with You and be seared with a coal from your alter, already!!?
I am convicted that the work in my heart is for public consumption. Your responses over the last few months have expressed encouragement and support and even relief that others are going through refining fire; relief that you are not the only one.
Still, when we ask 'How are you today' we don't really want our neighbours to unpack their emotional baggage. But I am being seriously smelted here!
I am really coming to grips with the rebellious nature I have held-onto in my Christian walk. As if Christianity was a rebellion from the world system. Then I, as a rebel from the world, affiliated with others; IN REBELLION. I am convicted that I was, until recently, on any team because we both were against the Devil! I reflect on my past Christian service with grief! I am seriously convicted that it was mostly in vain, except that my deepest desire was to serve God. I am called to serve God, to line-up under His authority. And affiliating with people submitted to Him is proving to be challenging. Christians everywhere, but so many rebels; so many angry lone rangers; so few men of God. Are any of us?
This last year of my life has been increasingly characterized by conviction and repentance. This is so NOT fun. I am a poor man. I am undone. Dont feel sorry for me, I was like this when you knew me. In me dwelleth NO good thing.
Everything is on the block. My neck, my marriage, my children, my ministry; the pronoun tells the story: none of these are mine! God took me to the backside of the desert to slap me to the wheel. (to mix two biblical metaphores)
I told God I was ready for an adventure.
He agreed.
But oh, what important realities are not in the recruitment brochures for Christian service!
Many admired the courage of our setting out.
You all knew I had character flaws when I left.
But I am here to say that the depth of God's work has gone beyond what I ever wanted to admit or face. This could easily kill me if I hold on to anything of myself as God blasts it away.
Its not like I was in secret sin or something; I am just convicted (with a diminishing sense of grace) about the absence of a heart for the fullness of God's spirit to bring forth love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control. God has raised the bar and every time I dont clear it I am getting thumped! And I am better for it, but things look pretty bruised right now. Please pray for us!
God wants us to lift HOLY hands.
Are you holy? Did you think you could leave that part out?
I stand before the solar wind of God's refining fire and more of me is burning off than I bargained for. Is anybody else really, really, REALLY going through this?
Please pray for us.
There is fruit and the Gospel is preached.
Honestly, Satan is like 'just quit, you're a mess' and I almost could.
Except there is nothing else I will ever do besides preach the gospel.
My family and I need your prayers to see God transform this man into the holy man He can use to reach: his family, people in Alva, and perhaps even Clackmannanshire, Scotland, Europe and the world. But I am in the way and we need your prayers as God is already well into the surgery.
- Elective Soul Surgery
Please pray for us.
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