Praise!

Something good is happening in Scotland!
God has seen fit to allow trials and refinement this winter.
I have really learned to love my wife like Christ loves the church.
The Lord has healed me of a deep fear of failure and abandonment.
(through something that felt exactly like failure and abandonment!)
Elizabeth is warming up to me again.
She sees that I am committed to Her.
My identity is more plainly rooted in Christ
and not merely what I do for Him.

Something so sinful crept up on us; THROUGH us.
I was railing against a lack of respect.
Liz was injured by bitterness and anger coming from me.
I was bitter and angry due to unmet expectations of Liz AND myself
I had lapsed into a religious performance,
spinning plates and working hard;
trying to outrun failure.
Plain scared.
Faithlessly working...
Trying to earn something, I suppose.
(even though we know where that gets us: Rom 4:4-5; Eph 2:8-9)

I don’t think I could have seen this without the pain and angst that the last four months have delivered.
I am tearful as I type and consider the great things the LORD HAS DONE FOR US.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow...

I don’t fully understand how it all works together,
but am living in the light of this truth.
...for good
to those who love God and are called according to His purposes.

Prayer:
1. For growth from strength to strength in our marriage and family.
2. We begin studying through Genesis on Sundays from 3-5, with topical sermons from those chapters the following Sunday worship and home groups to discuss these during the week.
I hope to see a reduction in diverse studies and a focus on the same body of scripture church-wide.
3. The Chaplaincy at the local HS is flourishing and Kids know they can depend on me for an answer from the Bible.
This is feeding into the Christian club on Tuesdays after school.
These kids are asking for a Bible study, and I think a discipleship course will suit them.
4. More families are turning up at the church on a Sunday and we need strong vision and leadership for the kids ministry.
5. We are planning to participate in an evangelistic mission in October with Impact World Tours from YWAM.
This will help us to focus on discipleship training now, in anticipation of the event in the Fall.
6. I pray that we will be able to develop a younger generation worship service over the summer to be up and running for the Fall.

Vision & Mission:
Study, fellowship, breaking of bread and prayer...
...Making disciples

Thanks for being good friends and faithful to pray,
Dave

Halelujah!

The View From Here

I smoked a cigar tonight.
It was the smoothest tobacco I ever tasted.
Still, it was tobacco. I wouldn’t do it often.
I certainly wouldn’t tell my son about it.
But I just stepped outside and walked VERY slowly tokin on this stogie.
I found I suddenly had a bit more time to pray.
And, by God, I had something to say!

Mostly, it went like this:
Lord God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob,
WHAT in tarnations am I doing HERE?!!!

I found myself walking in the glen on an overcast, moonless night.
The woods are peculiar at night in the dark.
The lines between flesh and spirit seem thinner.
“What was that rustling over there?”
There was a sense of pent-up history calling out from the wood.
But the boogie man can’t get me in the shelter of the most high.

And THAT is my point.
There is a fruit of this time of trial for Elizabeth and me.
Liz is emerging from depression
into the strength of her true identity in Christ.
I am being freed of (perhaps lifelong) fear of calamity.
(to use another word favoured by Yosemite Sam)

That which I have greatly feared has come upon me.
It seemed like our marriage was bleeding arterially.
Ministry options threatened to come to a grinding halt.
I was alone and without recourse;
until reality presented itself in light of faith in God.
To quote Led Zeppelin “You are never alone”
Better to quote God: I will never leave you or forsake you.
Christ specifically: Lo, I will be with you, even to the end of the age.

My hands dropped to my side at some point over these last two months and I was as good as dead. Apprehended, it seemed. Busted for being so scared; and so stressed; and so desperate to control the course of MY life.

So I am still here.
We are still separated.
It still sucks.
But it is getting better.

We share a mutual hope, Liz and I.
And I am happy to report that God is faithful to hear our prayers and we see that He is at work on each of us during this time. We are again encouraged to trust that ‘one’ has genuine good will toward the ‘other’. And God is building us back up to ‘choose to’ honour the covenant rather than ‘have to’. This language is less peculiar to me after this ordeal.

It’s like we were frogs in a pot and Liz was the first to say “wait a minute, this is freakin HOT” and jump out. We have some bad habits and some lame 25-cent psychology worming through this process, but God seems to be sifting through insult and injury to bless us with humour and the joy of life.

I just wrote this email to the course moderator for this class in Pastoral Care to let him know I will miss the final project submission deadline; because his class didn’t make the cut when I was setting priorities right over these last two months. Maybe I will get to submit my case study another time; maybe I just crashed and burned. Maybe this tanks my accreditation as an approved minister with the Baptist Union of Scotland. But God has watched me face the fear and choose the wife of my youth and refuse to roll over in the face of external pressures and ‘curse God and die’.

So... I smoked a cigar to celebrate (like we just had a baby).

I think ministry was the gift of grace through all of this.
People came alongside of each of us.
The fellowship here in Alva is completely supportive.
You came to both of us together and separately.
We made new friends and heard from old friends.
We have been ministered to by God almighty
through faithful servants.

No one abandoned us or sniped at us.
Everyone who deemed it appropriate to respond was gentle, with few words and offered to pray; and followed up to affirm that they were praying.

I was embarrassed that we were in real trouble.
And now I am mostly proud to be God’s;
and to call you all friends.

We’ll need to get Liz to blog on the same subject,
when she is up to it.

Please keep praying and lifting us up
and please don’t let our plight and testimony be wasted on you.
Keep marriage from degrading over time
and never give up in the midst of the storm.
“He is able” “He is faithful”

We came over here to ‘call Scotland back to her First Love’ (arrogant)
God has given us ourselves as a gift
and called us to Him first, in love.

How bout that?

PS Cigars are kind of nasty, after the fact.

White Christmas

So I am in Alva enjoying this scene.
Christmas Eve Service tonight. 7pm (GMT)
I will go to visit my family on Christmas Morning
at Elizabeth's grandmother's home in Carron
(where we had our wedding reception).
If the roads are passable.

Thank you for praying for us
and for Alva Baptist Church where we serve God.
God is faithful. God is good.

Merry Christmas

Sunday 6th December: Blessable

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Still Standing

I am weary and hopeful.
Liz is encouraged and feeling stronger.
and we still have trouble.

Please pray specifically for our family.

I started with how Liz's decissions afflicted me.
Then I decided "poor Liz she is afflicted and she is affecting me"
Now I realize "poor Liz, I totally afflict her".

Its never one-sided, but God is showing me how important it is to be obedient to Him despite what we think or feel about others we share life with.

God has called me to love my wife to the point of laying down my life for her.
I am facing the reality that I failed to love Liz like Christ loves the church and she is right to point it out.

I brought you all in on this episode of our lives.
It's a bit embarassing and I would rather keep it all quiet.
But I feel we signed up for a life on display as missionaries
and cant reconcile just sending out postcards of happy children and church-folk at BBQs.

And for this entire post I have struggled
with wanting to plead my innocence and justify my sin.
And point out the messy web of genuine offenses and sinful responses.
Satan's got the whole room in a big cream pie throwin fight!

This messy bit of life is God working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

We hope to see evidence of that soon...

Please pray,
David

Feeling the Love

You guys are great!
I applaud your support and prayers.
Especially those who are lovingly reaching out to Elizabeth.
Liz and I are encouraged.
God is using you.

Nobody mentioned it, but I feel convicted that I complained about a choice that Liz made without owning up to choices I make that are equally wrong. Liz is hurting just like her husband. and we are blessed with friends like you. Pray with hope and thanksgiving for what God is doing over here in our hearts.

Thank you.

Crisis

2 1/2 years since we went out from Metro to serve in Scotland.
There has been extreme grief as friendships ceased with our departure.
It's a busy life. We are all busy.
It's a challenge to keep on top of even that which is right in front of us isn't it?

The support that we truly depend on hasn't been financial or relational.
Jehovah-Jireh -- The Lord our Provider

But it is hard to keep sight of this in relative isolation from the people we grew up with. Liz and I have had a VERY hard time adjusting to missionary shock (David), re-entry shock (Elizabeth), post natal depression, the stress of reorienting to a denominational church culture where we believe God has placed us, raising sons, home maintenance, general christian growth...

This next bit may come as a shock.
Elizabeth has decided to separate from me.
we are working with the counselor we have been seeing for months now.

I do not agree with Elizabeth's decisions.
I cannot control this; or fix it.
I have decided to move into a flat so the rest of the family will experience as little additional disruption as possible.
It sucks.

God causes ALL things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
I believe this and I am not feelin it.
I am struggling with grief and pain and shame and frustration and anger and fear and renewed hope as they wash over me in oscillating waves.

I have shared this with the fellowship here in Alva,
with my prayer partners;
and with a couple of strangers I just met who are planting a church nearby.

And now you are more specifically aware of how you can pray.

I considered whether I am qualified to continue in ministry.
(an overseer) must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? (1Ti 3:4-5 ESV)

I am not sure that I have failed to manage my own household well.
I am convinced that I am not able to 'manage' Liz.
I offered to step back from commitments, to quit ministry entirely;
but Liz is making this decision for her reasons.
Her family supports this
I feel quite alone in my insistance that this is wrong.

But God is holding us up we both want to perservere and see victory.

This has deeply affected our family in Alva.

Please be praying,
David

This last Sunday's Sermon was on suffering in crisis.

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